Nomadic children in Tibet
I have known of children between the ages of 8 to 15 who are so excessively careful in their speech, actions and manners. These children become so self conscious and anxious in their quest to please people that they have choked off their creative self. They become so consciously and constantly monitoring their every act or word that they lose their spontaniety as a child. Every word is well thought of before it leaves their mouth and with that they steal glances at people to seek approval or to see if it has displeased the listener.
It is time these children unlock their creative self. The inhibited personality has imposed restraint upon the expression of the real self. For one reason or another, the child is afraid to express himself/herself, afraid to be himself/ herself and has locked up the real self within an inner prison and thus becomes inhibited.
Children of this nature tend to be timid (especially in the presence of those whom they think are more superior to them), self conscious, have feelings of guilt, nervous, frustrated, irritable …
Parents play a major role if not the main role in moulding their children. In their fervant pursuit of trying to make their children ‘role models’, they lose sight of “the child” in every child. A friend once told me of his discomfort of being around with a 14 year old child. Over a meal this child has uttered no less than 10 “thank you” & “no thank you” that good manners have no relevance any more. It then becomes a mere utterance of pleasantries.
So parents, allow your child to be a baby once more. A baby has no superficiality, no phoniness, no hypocrisy. His language consists of crying and cooing. The baby expresses his real feelings. Do not curb your child. Allow him or her to grow. We are there to guide them, not to reprimand them all the time and not to correct their every move or word.
